It might get another layer of clearcoat, but it’s not dry yet, so I’m not sure. I got semi-gloss latex because I’m sick and not up to dealing with oil paint fumes, and it’s not as if this table is going to get manhandled anyway. I took a sample and had Buchheit match the colour of the trim in the house; I got 2g because I’m also going to use this for the kitchen table and chairs. Anyway, I finished the top last weekend, but decided to run over it with some fine sandpaper. I wanted texture, but not quite as much as it had. A quick sanding with 150 and 220, and it’s perfect. I’m really giving some serious thought to refinishing the kitchen table top instead of making a new one. I dunno…it needs to be scratch-resistant, but it won’t get the wear and tear of a kitchen countertop. I’ll look into finishes and see what’s available. For now, though, here’s my stone-topped table; formerly a 70s-era end table with a crappy laminate top.

Here’s the finished top in sunlight, which is basically how it looks in the room because of all those big windows.

It started as a vintage 70s oversized end table that was supposed to have a “shelf” on top (for a lamp or something), but the shelf was missing. Stained dark walnut, wood legs and laminate pressboard top. Not much, but sturdy, and I think it was five bucks at a yard sale. When we moved into 544, we had nothing in the way of furniture, so we got it. I used it as a coffee table for a while, but when we got an actual coffee table (of sorts), it ended up in the basement. After a while, it was pressed into service as a fish tank stand, which it was until we moved. I never got around to filling the holes where the shelf had attached because it didn’t matter; the tank covered them anyway.

When we were cleaning 544, we used it as a table, a stepstool, and a chair because it was virtually the only piece of furniture left over there. When we’d finished, I was going to throw it away, but changed my mind and decided we could use it for something in the gradge. When I couldn’t find a coffee table I liked for Parview, I cleaned it up, stuck wood putty in the holes and brought it inside so I’d have a place for my phone when I was napping. I liked the size, but of course, neither the plastic-y fake wood top, nor the dark walnut finish. Then I had an idea!

I finally found Rustoleum spray stone paint in the Sienna colour I wanted, and bought primer in…well, primer red, and sandable wood filler. I’d got clear coat when I bought the textured paint I ended up using on a planter for the bathroom, so last night, I brought the table out, dug the waxy wood putty out and filled the holes. I rough-sanded the top with 60 grit, then sanded the legs with 80 and then 100. The grain isn’t nice enough to bother staining, but French white paint will look nice, and after a coat of primer and two coats of stone paint, the top looks really cool–I’m impressed! I’m still deciding whether to apply one more coat, or just start clear-coating (probably need at least three), and still need to get paint for the legs, but so far, it’s looking like what I want, and I think this little table may just be around for another 13 years!

EDIT: I ended up clearcoating instead of applying another coat of stone. This is two coats of clearcoat, which stinks to high heaven of toluene, but dries fast. Not sure whether to sand with 220 grit and recoat, or just recoat and leave the texture. This is more true to actual colour than the first photo.

Why does every old person who writes a product review for anything feel the need to include the words,  “I am a senior citizen, and…”? I don’t put, “I am a middle-aged misanthrope, and…” in my reviews. You’re old. Nobody cares. Look–it’s my DILLIGAF face! Shut the fuck up.

The foundation was a “meh”, and I didn’t care much for the eyeliner pen, but I love the HD concealer and love-love-love the mascara primer. I have eyelashes! I meant to get more last weekend, but forgot about it in the cart, and when I went to check out today…50% off everything! Plus, they still had the free shipping on orders over $35. I stocked up on concealer and mascara primer, plus I got some mineral primer, eyeshadows (including my beloved Saddle), and other cool stuff. P. gave me fridge space for stuff I need to keep cool so it’ll store longer. I love stocking up on makeup, especially when it’s E.L.F., which is already really inexpensive, and half price with free shipping on top. Hell, yeah!

People who should be stapled to a wall so I can repeatedly kick them in the crotch:

1. Whatever ASSMUNCH is responsible for Winders fucking homegroups
2. Whatever dumbfuck decided that a default name for a workgroup was a good idea.
3. The stupid bastard who redesigned Slate’s web site. Not only is it even uglier, but HELLO, it’s 2014…people browse on mobile devices.

Sick to death of trying to find the brush I needed when I’m in a hurry in the morning, I found a solution! Cups with glass beads kind of worked, but not well enough, and even a makeup brush holder wouldn’t do enough to organize (plus, they’re fucking expensive), so I made my own, custom holder. A scrap of wood left from building basement steps at 544, a jigsaw (don’t own a skilsaw yet), various drill bits and a sander. Haven’t yet decided how–or if–I’ll finish the wood, but it works just fine as is!

Yeah, my vanity needs dusting.  It’s on my post-nap agenda. So is washing my stipple brushes. 😀

P.S. Also, four deer in the back yard last night. Attracted to the spillage under the bird feeders, but they weren’t very afraid of me, and one was downright bold. Kept stepping toward me, looking curious instead of nervous, as I stood in the cold, talking to them. I wish I could feed them, but it’s a bad idea and dangerous for their digestive systems, and also illegal. I think they’ll be back, though; they know I have bird feeders.

Hop-hop-hop…hop-hop-hop-hop. Hop-hop.

I love itsy-bitsy birdy-feetins marks in the snow. Even if they are little fevvered fatasses that eat like a swarm of locusts and cost me nearly a fortune to feed. I guess they pay for it anyway, by doing their job, which is to make me smile when it’s freezing fucking cold and I’m sick to death of winter but there’s still lots left to go. #birdyfeetins

I finally got around to turning the wire shelf unit that had held towels in the bathroom for 13 years at 544 into a plant/misc stuff shelf in my bathroom.  It was fucking windy and fairly cold yesterday, but I drilled new holes to move a shelf down, spray-painted the unit gloss white (yay, Rustoleum!) and had P. get three sheets of glass cut to put on the shelves because wire shelves don’t hold narrow objects very well, especially tall cans of Vaseline Spray n’ Go. I’ll probably sand out the few drips I got, trying to hurry, and repaint it, but that won’t happen until spring (if ever!)

I also solved the problem of starlings eating my woodpeckers’/nuthatches’ suet. It was annoying at first, but when P. alerted me to the fact that they were not only eating it, but were actually scaring my little birds away, I’d had enough. Dressed in bright pink star pyjamas, plaid bathrobe and fuzzy aubergine slippers, I went out to the garage. Fuck what the neighbours think. I had a scrap square of 1/2″ plywood, and some scrap 1×4, so I basically made a short board with a roof over it. On one, I stapled the feeder to the board, and on the other, to the underside of the roof. Screwed them to the same Osage orange trees they’d been on so my little dudes wouldn’t have to learn that they were feeders, and watched. The nuthatches and downy woodpeckers don’t seem to mind eating upside down, and the larger redbellies will have an easier time with the vertical feeder, but the starlings can’t sit on top of it and still reach the food because the roof is too wide. There’s nowhere to perch beside it, and they can’t cling to the bark under it like a woodpecker, so they’re out of luck (and food). If they figure out a way, I’ll have to make that an upside-down feeder, too, and if they don’t, then I’ll make the upside-down feeder into just a roofed feeder that’ll be easier for bigger woodpeckers. Either way, no starlings eating all my suet cakes. Fuck starlings.

Speaking of black birds eating all the food, my Redwing Blackbird brought a (male) friend yesterday. I know they flock in winter with other blackbirds and starlings, so maybe the goddamned starlings hanging around brought me something good; I saw a Redwing this afternoon. They’ll eat the sunflower I put out for cardinals, finches, chickadees, titmice and Bloo Jay, but I’ll just buy extra; I love my Redwings!

Beautiful Red-winged Blackbird boy at the big sunflower feeder this morning! I may not be a fan of the majority of the blackbird family, but I’ve loved Red-wings since I was a child and used to see them near the marshy spot at the edge of the field beside our house. I love their song, and they’re so pretty. Plus, like all blackbirds, they don’t take shit from anyone or anything. I remember watching hawks flying overhead, being chased by blackbirds.

I just heard a Great Horned Owl, and he’s close by. I knew there were Barred and Eastern Screech around this area, but I’d never heard a Great Horned here before! Parview just gets better!