According to the Autism-Spectrum Quotient test, I’m autistic! 😀 I scored a 40 (answering honestly and I know myself well, both the traits I desire and those I perhaps do not), and a 32 or above is considered the point at which autism or Asperger’s is likely. It does say that many people who score high enough and meet the criteria have no difficulty functioning in daily life, and I agree–numbers, categories and cutoff points are wonderful, but they’re no match for human adaptation. Whatever I may be, I understand what society expects of me, and I come as close to that as it takes to not attract an undue amount of negative attention. Society expect me to socialise, so I do, but only when there’s no way around it, and it’s tiring for me because it doesn’t come naturally–I have to be “on”. Society expects me to give a damn about kids, but I don’t. I don’t want to lie and get caught in it, so when the subject comes up, I say nothing even though if it were up to me, they’d all be stuck on an island somewhere and stay there until they’d learned to behave in a tolerable manner. We’re supposed to love furry animals, and I do…in pictures and video, not around me and definitely not in my house. I’ve almost always had a dog, but I think that was mostly out of habit because now that I don’t and haven’t for years, I’ve discovered I like it much better that way. I just plain hate cats; they’re lazy, sneaky things that get up on food contact surfaces five seconds after walking in their boxes of shit. Yeah, I know–your cat would never do that. Riiiight, and you watch it 24/7, dontcha? I don’t think I’ll have a sandwich at your house, thanks.

I like P–he doesn’t fucking bug me to do stuff, or go places where there are a lot of people, or talk if I don’t want to. I think he’s the same as I am and has adapted to socialise only as much as it takes to escape negative attention. Some of his colleagues and our acquaintances have invited us out for dinner (or whatever), and we really don’t want to go, so we just put it off and eventually, they stop asking. It isn’t that we don’t like these particular people, just that we like ALL people only in very small doses. It’s nothing personal, just the way we’re wired. I like people best when they’re on the other side of an Internet connection and I can shut them off any time I want. Even the phone is too much sometimes. That’s why I like fish; they need care and they’re company, so they satisfy my (miniscule) need to nurture something and keep me from being entirely alone, but they never make noise, they don’t shed, shit or do anything disgusting in my living space, and when I don’t want them in my face, all I have to do is leave the room. Even the crabs are mildly annoying sometimes because they make such a damned mess with their food. Not annoying enough that I don’t want them–I brought them here and they are my responsibility–but annoying enough that it’s unlikely I’ll ever get more. Fish are the perfect pet for me; they just go about their fishy business in their little boxes of water. I keep them clean, make their environments comfortable and make sure they get the right things to eat, and they leave me the fuck alone except when I want them around. Now why can’t people be like that, too? 😉