It’s official. I am, as of this moment, completely computer illiterate. I barely know how to turn one on, and certainly I don’t know why you can’t see your PMs, nor can I tell you how to design a web site. I don’t know how to make little emoticons appear in your Flickr replies, I don’t know how to do the “little picture” in them, either. I can’t explain to you how to register for Gmail, or install MSN Messenger, and I can’t explain to you how you can get around the fact that Halo 2 was designed for Vista when you run XP. If you want to run H2 on XP, then go read the gaming forums and find the hack yourself; I have things to do. I don’t know how to install the copy of Photoshop Elements that you just bought. I don’t know where you can get software for free unless it happens to be something OSS that I use myself. If that doesn’t suit you, you’ll just have to go look for something you like better. I don’t know why you aren’t receiving your email (try your sysadmin), or why the video on some random page isn’t working for you (ask the webmaster). I don’t know why any of your shit doesn’t work, or how you can make it work, and furthermore, I don’t care. I know how to turn on my Ubuntu Linux computer, and how to type, and that’s all I know. Don’t ask. Google, or fuck off. I’m tired.