Just when you think things could not possibly get worse, your neighbor turns up with a giant (12″) bobblehead of Hank Williams Jr., dressed in black with a black cowboy hat and wearing big black aviator glasses, and puts it on the table. You know–the table that’s covered with a flowered vinyl tablecloth and is part of the entire dinette set on his front porch. It’s next to the sofa with the throw pillows crocheted in Shades Of Vomit. That table. I can’t take a picture ATM, but you’ve seen his front porch.
Here’s Hank. Use your imagination.
July 6th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I’m thinkin’, the world is better off not seein’ that. Nightmares. PTSD. And stuff.
July 7th, 2006 at 7:17 am
I was wrong. Yesterday, the trailer trash freak moved ol’ Hank up onto the front porch rail (yes, facing the street and six feet from the sidewalk) and when I went out to get the paper this morning, I got a closer look. It is, in fact, not a bobblehead. It’s something even worse, and it’s even more than a foot tall. Here’s a description from a website that sells them:
In case you’re not nauseous enough yet, here’s a picture!
July 7th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
My eyes! My eyes!
July 7th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
I haven’t yet decided whether I’ll gouge out my eyes with a salad fork, but if he ever turns it on, I will be compelled to poke out my eardrums with pencils.
The people who lived across my back yard skipped out on their rent last month, and I don’t think the Millers have found anyone new yet (jeezus, I hope they do soon so they’re not always hanging around). You interested? Only metres from Patriotic Yard Sale House, Trailer Trash Freak and ol’ Hank!