Okay, this one made even the Grammar Nazi laugh. Headline linking to an article about the court ruling, Re: Mattel vs. Bratz dolls.

Bratz dolls to be pulled off the market after court ruling; I expect there to be less fish net stalkings in our middle schools now.

Bratz are slutty-looking…I dunno….teenage prostitots? Oversized heads with huge eyes, heavily made-up faces and pouty lips; skinny bodies, disproportionately long legs, and (inexplicably) gigantic feet. Little girls typically love them, and many parents hate them because they’re hypersexualised. They’re supposed to be teens “with a passion for fashion”, but they’re generally dressed like Vegas whores. I suppose that if I had a daughter, and she wanted a Bratz doll, I’d probably buy her one…and then see whether she thought that was the “female ideal” or whether she just wanted it because her friends had them. I wouldn’t want to raise a kid who idolised Paris or Lindsay because empty-headed sluts with more money than class aren’t the people I’d want for a child’s role model, but OTOH, kids often want stuff just because other kids have it and “fitting in” is important to most kids. Anyway, the court ruling was over a copyright claim by Mattel against whatever company makes Bratz, not because the dolls are offensive, and none of that has anything to do with the amusing headline.

Using less instead of fewer for something that could be counted (fewer Bratz dolls because you count Bratz one-two-three… and less rain because when you measure rain, you’re counting the mm, not the rain itself, which cannot be counted) kind of made me cringe, but “fish net stalkings” made me snort aloud in a most unladylike manner. Illiterate dude, I don’t know who you are, but that is the first time in my life that I have ever encountered someone who doesn’t know the word…stockings. You are probably American, or Americanised Canadian because anyone with a British background would not likely pronounce “stalking” the same as “stocking” and would know there’s a difference between “fish net stalkings” and “fishnet stockings”. You didn’t, and goddamn, the thought of some creepy guy sneaking up behind his middle school classmates with a trawl net made me laugh. Props for the semicolon, too. Thank you, Illiterate Dude. 😛