I started with some link I don’t remember, then went to another about a book called He’s Just Not That Into You, and eventually ended up at this article on Web MD. Granted, not the world’s most credible relationship advice source, but I did read the article because I was curious as to what “no one” had told me about being married. Seriously…women need this kind of advice? Someone has to tell them that their husbands are not pets or accessories, and that a grown man comes with his very own, unique personality that you will not change, no matter how much you bitch, nag, threaten, sulk or cry? He’s going to do things that annoy you, yes…and you are going to do things that annoy him, too. If he’s the right one, the annoyances will be far outweighed by the good stuff. So he can’t manage to hit the laundry hamper three feet from his side of the bed, and he shaves all over the sink. So what–it won’t kill you to pick up some clothes or wipe the goddamned sink. This is the same man who picks up half a dozen roses for no reason beyond “I was at the store anyway”, even remembering that pink roses are your favourite, the same man who makes coffee every morning, even when he leaves before you’re awake, and the same man who faithfully does garbage detail every Monday morning because he knows that even the thought of garbage makes you vaguely nauseous. He probably doesn’t like it much when you leave the butter out to soften and forget to put it in the fridge when you’re done, and most likely is less than appreciative of discovering the odd and sundry 14″ hair coiled gracefully inside the clean underwear he’s putting on at six in the morning. He does appreciate having his own Laundry Fairy and Ironing Fairy, he does appreciate the drive-by smooch on the back of the neck whilst he’s working at his computer, and although he laughs, he does appreciate and does not feel objectified by the wolf whistle when he emerges from the shower. You’ll disagree, you’ll argue, and sometimes even fight, but you’ll get over it, and you’ll both survive. That’s what happens when two people live together for a long time. Jesus wept…that’s all common sense, common decency and respect for a human being, not some sort of big secret. Men are not women. Men will never be women. They don’t want to be women, and any woman with any sense doesn’t want them to be women, either. If you want your man to be like a woman, then what you want is a bull dyke with a strap-on (maybe a Swiss strap-on), not a man. Some are complicated, some are not very, some are thoughtful by nature, and some will forget your birthday, but they’re really not that difficult to understand, most are willing to work on solutions that suit you both as long as you treat them like equal partners, not some sort of child or animal that needs “training” (no matter what your mother told you, or whether you were daddy’s little princess), and IMHO, the fact that they are not women is a very, very good thing. I think mine is probably glad I’m not a man, too! 🙂