I’d never seen this (anonymous) poem before, but after having tried to read it aloud and having to pause a couple of times, I have new respect for anyone who’s trying to learn this mess as a second language…

I take it you already know,
Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.
Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead – it’s said like bed, not bead,
For goodness’ sake, don’t call it ‘deed’!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there’s dose and rose and lose –
Just look them up – and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go and thwart and cart –
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I’d mastered it when I was five.

I will no longer complain about the k that sounds like k or sh, or that “hhcsh” sound that sounds like an angry raccoon trying to speak, and the g that sounds like g or y or doesn’t have any sound at all, and the ä that sounds like “cat” or like ä in German, depending upon whether it’s short or long (not sure how I’m supposed to know the difference). Well, there’s also o that sounds kind of like an American trying to say “eau” without ever having heard it, and the d that is silent sometimes and sometimes not. Actually, maybe English isn’t so bad after all… 🙂

Oh, and the funniest thing I’ve ever heard about a language…
“To speak Danish, just get drunk and speak Swedish. Even better if your mouth is full.” 😆