Me: I’m not a real person, you know. I’m actually a bot, and not only do I scan the entire contents of your hard drive, I also log into any accounts you may have online and scan the contents, plus I control remote wireless cameras to monitor you. Did I somehow forget to mention all […]

P. read in the paper that Matt got arrested, charged with whatever may be the official equivalent of intent to manufacture methamphetamine. He and another guy whose name we didn’t recognise were noticed “behaving suspiciously” when purchasing pseudoephedrine from a drugstore. The pharmacist called the cops, who then followed them to (I believe) two more […]