Yes, sarcasm. Why? Might have something to do with the half-grown tabby cat that is currently in hiding underneath the chesterfield in the living room. P. and his goddamned strays. At work, he feeds anything that should happen to be homeless or hungry and wander by (including a skunk and an opossum), but two of his cats are special. The mama had two kittens earlier in the year, but then started showing up with just one. He patiently tamed them both, having better success with the kitten than the adult, and for the last couple of weeks, he’s been trying to catch them because he worries about them living outside in the winter. They’re fat and sassy, with lovely thick coats, but he’s right about one thing–the female can’t be left there to produce more kittens next year, and if the little one is female, it’ll do the same. He bought a small dog carrier and started feeding them in it, and they got used to it. His plan was to catch them and take them to our local shelter because he says the one in M.V. looks like a prison. The shelter lady said she would take them, primarily because he lied to her about the county and told her they were within her “jurisdiction”.

Last weekend, he was telling me about the young one, and said he wished we could keep it (him/her/whatever). This is a no-pets rental, and I’m violently allergic to cats, but (thinking he wouldn’t do it), dumbass me told him that if he could convince D&G that we could keep a cat without infesting their house with fleas or ruining the carpet with cat urine, and if he’d pay for the Claritin and ensure that I never run out, it would be okay with me for the cat to be here. Not the adult because she’s far more feral, but the little one. I don’t like cats, but I don’t really actively dislike them (except the two that hunt at our bird feeders), and besides, who the hell would’ve thought he’d actually do it?!? He hasn’t cleared it with D&G yet, so perhaps they’ll say no, but for the time being, there is a litterbox (ewww) in the fish room (P wants it there so the cat can find it easily), and there is a kind of cute little tabby cat that we believe is female…hiding under the chesterfield in my living room. So help me FSM, if that thing relieves itself on the floor, claws anything, or causes any damage to my fish, their tanks or their equipment, I’ll drive it to the goddamned shelter myself, but so far, it hasn’t done anything but hide. If he somehow does manage to sweet-talk D. into letting it stay here, it’s not allowed outside, it is getting spayed (or neutered, if he’s wrong about its gender), it is getting a checkup at the vet’s, it is getting proper flea treatment from the vet, I do not clean litterboxes, it doesn’t sleep with us unless it stays at the foot of the bed, and if I ever catch it on the counter or the table, it is getting sprayed with water. It’s also getting called Kitteh. Christ….why did I ever agree to this??