I live fifteen feet away from Yankee Doodle Fuckin’ Dandy. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I like daylight, and I’m in here, entertaining the Ironing Fairy, so I noticed Yard Sale House man out by the AIM/WOq flag (that’s what his flag reads when viewed from the street), straightening his creepy flag hangers (most of us would call them “handcuffs”). He wore a bright red baseball cap, and I took a second look because I figured it was going to be one of two things–either NASCAR (about his level of intellect) or some American Pride crap. My second guess was on the money. Jeezus! ENOUGH already! You’re American–we fuckin’ GET IT.

I couldn’t get a good picture because I couldn’t exactly open the window (only 52F outside and raining, so it was closed) and pull out the screen, plus I had to sort of duck down behind a box of Kleenex (not kleenex, the real thing ;)) on the dresser but…whatever. You get the point. Red hat, blue and white trim, big-ass eagle in flight, says “Team America”. White trash haute couture. Vomit.

P.S. Stopped raining, so I’m gonna open up the window and give him a blast of Verdi here in just a moment. Muahahaha!