I took the link off my AQM profile and left this un-updated for long enough that no one would ever bother to look, so now I can say any damned thing I want and use any kind of language I want. Muahahaha. Let’s start out this new bitchblog with some random stuff.

Stuff I like:
– Cape Codders (and I’ll like ’em a lot more in another couple of hours)
– Good coffee (which does not include the swill sold in grocery stores, Starbucks, or any “donut” shop. What the hell is a donut?)
– Bellybutton oranges
– Wendy’s mandarin chicken salad, as long as nobody ruins it with the dressing or those nasty little crunchy things in the bags
– Britcoms
– Linux, doesn’t matter which distro
– People who use Linux because they like it, not because they want to brag about what incredible geeks they are.
– My fish…..most of the time. Crabs are cool, but rather a pain in the arse because they make a mess with their food.
– Guys with brown eyes and dimples. Even if I can’t stand them, they’re still cute to look at.
– Mythbusters
– Dirty Jobs
– Snopes, The Straight Dope and The Skeptic’s Dictionary
– Slashdot. Such a mix of intelligence and goatse!
– Good quality scented candles, Febreze and liquid potpourri that doesn’t stink.
– Cotton percale sheets, 200+ thread count.
– The T-shirt I got for Christmas that says, “I smoke, so fuck off”. Bahahaha!
– Ironing. It’s mindless (mostly), and you get to take something that looks all crumpled and awful, and make it into something nice and neat.
– Acqua di Gio. Sniffy-sniffy-sniff. Ahhhh.

Shit I don’t like:
– Car commercials
– Actually, make that all commercials except funny ones, and even those if they’re shown more than once in any given hour
– Reality TV, except Cops
– That little bastard grandson of the guy next door. Every time the fucking thing opens its cakehole, it’s to shout, and of course it plays in the yard right outside my window, so I can’t have any fresh air without listening to its screaming. I wish it would go invent a game that’s played somewhere on I-70, preferably in the middle.
– Kids in general. No, I don’t want to hear about anything your kids did or how they’re growing up so fast, and I definitely don’t want to see pictures of their birthday, Christmas, trip to the zoo or any other fucking thing. If I cared, I’d have my own.
– Windows, or if not the OS itself, then at least the stupid people who reply to, “…and what is your operating system, please?” with, “Uhhhh…..is it AOL?” (or Internet Explorer, or whatever they’re seeing in the titlebar of whatever app they use most). Windows caters to the clueless, so I suppose I do hate it after all. I’d hate malware, but it looks good on those too stupid to realise that using a puter without knowing what you’re doing is only slightly less dangerous than driving a car when you don’t know how.
– Digg. Wants to be Slashdot, but the lamers by far outnumber the intellegent posters.
– Billy Mays. What in God’s name did the world do to deserve this horrid creature?
– Man-haters. Guess what, girls? They’re not all bad. Some are great, some are mostly good and some are shits, just the same as women. Men are different from us, sure, but that doesn’t mean they’re all fat, beer-swilling, football-watching slobs with plumber’s arse cleavage. I like most men better than I do most women–at least if men don’t like you, they don’t pretend they do, and they don’t give a shit what you wear because ten seconds after they leave, they won’t remember anyway. Well, unless you were wearing Saran wrap or something–they’d probably remember that.
– People who email aquarium/fish/invert questions to me. The only place I use that address is on AQM, so that has to be where they got it, yet they do not register and instead, email me for that “personal touch”, and to take up time I could be spending helping someone who actually bothered to register, thereby helping anyone who might come along in future with the same question. No, no–I really LIKE to answer your question for you and only you, then the next time for anyone else with an email client because I enjoy typing so fucking much. I do–really! I’d like to reply with a simple, “Fuck off. Registration’s free, you know”, but an admin can’t do that….so far. Muahahaha….
– People who post ALL IN CAPS, in coloured text that makes my head ache, the ones who can’t make a three line post without using sixteen animated emoticons, and those whose first post is a “gimme” in the trade forum. You all suck, and here’s a thought, gimme-gimme arsehole–have you ever considered that trade forum is there for our members who actually contribute something to the community, not for you to register, get something free and then leave?
– People who can’t walk without fucking up the rugs in my house. Fringes are supposed to be flat and straight, not flipped up, and the same goes for edges. Are you DRUNK? Breaking in a new pair of feet and haven’t quite got the hang of them yet??
– Diplodocus and T. Rex when they walk across the floor and vibrate the tanks so the poor fish think it’s an earthquake. Patrick gets a little leeway because he weighs 190, but Susan gets none because she’s 115 in a pair of soaking wet insulated coveralls. If I can walk like a human at 140, then she can walk like one.

Okay, that’s all I can think of for the moment and T. Rex will be home soon, so I’m going to scope out the liquor cabinet and see what’s on the drink menu tonight.

I remain your faithful,
Bitchie Mama