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Oh…my…God.

I didn’t do much more than raise an eyebrow when our new neighbor put a chesterfield on his front porch, and I raised two eyebrows when he moved an entire living room (complete with end table, ottoman, lighted plastic palm tree, enormous pot of yellow plastic roses and decorative wall thermometer) out there. When I went out to check the daphnia one morning and saw him asleep on the chesterfield like some bum on a park bench (do bear in mind that the sidewalk is about SIX FEET FROM OUR HOUSES), I just shook my head. As time passed and people visited him, I realised he did indeed intend to treat the (covered, but unscreened and otherwise entirely open) front porch as an extension of his living space, but I just tried not to notice in spite of the fact that the house is perhaps fifteen feet from ours. I just now glanced out our bedroom window and saw something attached to the back corner of his house, next to the door. A rack of deer antlers. I am not making this up; it’s a wooden plaque with a set of DEER ANTLERS on it. What’s next–a desk and bookshelf to make himself a den in the (unfenced, wide open) back yard? If he’s going to live outside, what the hell has he got the house for in the first place? This used to be a nice neighborhood…..

I wish this were a joke.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 4th, 2005 at 8:10 am and is filed under Snail Poop. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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