My name is Stephanie Marsupilami Babycat. I am one years old an this is a story about me.
I don’t remember too much about my mum. My cat mum, I mean. I was too little. I know she fed me an skwished me a little bit when she washed my head, but she was nice an soft and warm, an I didn’t mind gettin a little skwished. She said mrrrt to me, too; that’s the sound mumma cats make when they love their babies. Then one day a human came and took me away. I thought Cat Mum an my brothers and sisters were comin, too, but they didn’t. Just me.
At first, I was a little scared and missed Cat Mum, an I had nobody to play with except for the humans inna house. But they said I was so cute and they were nice to me an played with me an laughed when I climed up their legs and scratched an bit them. They fed me an it was nice inna house. But I was still kinda lonely. I tried to tell them I wanted Cat Mum, or my brothers and sisters, or a friend. But they didn’t speak cat, so they didn’t unnerstan. Plus they went away a lot and left me alone. When I was a real small babycat, I cried an then went to sleep. When I got bigger, I didn’t cry no more, an more stuff was innerestin, so I wanted to ‘splore. But I got in trouble for doin stuff the humans didn’t want me to do.
I thought maybe if I was cute like when I was a small baby, they would stay home an I would have compny, so I did alla stuff I did when I was a baby. I climed on the curtens, ran around an around the house, an I jumped up on tables an knocked stuff over, an I scratched the furnishr, an chewed up stuff I found onna floor. But they didn’t laugh no more. They yelled down an stop an bad an get outta there. I even tried goin in when they was asleep an makin biskits on their heads like I did when I was a baby, but they didn’t like that no more, neither. They put me outta the room an shut the door.
I played by myself cause nobody was there to play with me, but sometimes stuff fell an broke, an sometimes my claws made holes when I didn’t mean for them to. An I bit people sometimes, too, cause I was mad they didn’t unnerstan me. One time I knocked a glass over on assadent an it spilled an made a big purple spot onna carpet. An the humans got mad. It was like they got mad every time I did anythin but I didn’t have no way to tell them I was lonesome an bored cause they didn’t speak cat.
One day, the humans were gettin ready to go away somewhere, an one of them picked me up! I was happy I was goin with them even if I didn’t know where. We got inna car an after a little while, the car stopped. There was just a road anna woods, an it was kinda cold cause it was winter, but I thought we were gonna go ‘splorin. It was very ‘citin!
We got outta the car, an I was wiggly cause I wanted to get down an go look at stuff an sniff it. But the human didn’t put me down then. We went inna woods, an finly, we stopped an the human put me down. So many new smells an things to look at! I went to check somethin out, but when I came back, the human was gone. I went where I thought the car was, but I didn’t see it, so I walked around, lookin. But I couldn’t find the car. I tried yellin for the humans, but I guess they didn’t hear me. Then I went back inna woods to see if the walkin human was back. I saw somethin movin, so I went that way, but it was a funny-lookin little brown-red dog with a big fluffy tail. He didn’t look friendly, so I went the other way.
It was winter, but it wasn’t real-real cold yet, so I walked around a lot. Helped me keep warm since I always lived inna house an didn’t have no winter fur coat. I saw lotsa different aminals an birbs, but it was real hard to find anythin to eat. I hunted some mice, an I ate them, but they didn’t taste as good as the kitty food I had before. I tried to hunt little birbs but they flew away. I walked an walked when it was daytime, but I was too scared to walk at night. Cause there’s huge birbs you can’t see cause they mostly only come out at night, an you can’t hear them, neither cause they don’t make no noise when they fly. I wasn’t very big then, but they are, an I figgrd they could carry me away if they wanted to, an maybe eat me, so I stayed as still as I could at night. I seen one inna day once, but I just stopped an didn’t move til it flew away. I know now that them big birbs are owls. They say hoo-hoo-hoo. That’s a funny sound.
I don’t know how long I was inna woods, walkin an walkin, but one day, it got real windy an a lot colder. I still didn’t have no winter coat, no cat friends to help me keep warm, an nowheres to sleep ‘cept onna ground. I was cold alla time, an oney found enough food so I didn’t die, but my belly was never full. I had nobody…just me. An I was sad. I still walked every day, yellin an hopin to find the humans again, but I never did.
One day, I was walkin an found a place where there wasn’t no trees. Trees all around, but none inna middle. I decided to go onna other side of the open place, inna trees. I was walkin across the open place, when suddaly, I felt weird. Like scared but I didn’t know why. So I ran, an when I was runnin, a big shadow was over me, an I looked up. It was a huge birb that kinda looked like a owl but it didn’t have no big fat head. It screamed KEEER-R-R! KEEE-R-R! I ran as fast as I could an hid under some leaves inna woods. I didn’t move. I didn’t harley breathe; I was so scared that huge birb would find me! Birbs useta be dinosours an even if they ain’t so big now, somma them are still bigger than me!
I stayed inna leaves for a long time, an it was dark when I came out. I was still scareda them big birbs that come at night. But now it was worser cause there’s big birbs in the day, too! I was real cold, an real hungry, an just wanted to be somewhere that was warm an had lotsa food, an didn’t have no dinosours tryna eat me. I was so mad an sad, an hungry, an I didn’t even care about no birbs. I walked a little bit inna woods, an then I saw some lights. Lights at night means humans!
I went towards the lights, but I didn’t see nobody. Then I heard some movin-around sounds, and even though I was cold, an hungry, an tired, I took a big breath, an as loud as I could, I yelled, MUMMAAAA! ARE YOU THERE? The movin-around sounds stopped, an I was sad again, but then I heard it! A human sayin poor kitty, where are you? Come on, poor kitty, it’s cold. Come to mumma! I ran to the sound an I saw a human standin beside a trash can. It wasn’t none-a the humans I knew, but I hoped an hoped, an peeked around the corner of a buildin.
The human was tall an skinny, so I wasn’t sure she’d unnerstan about hungry kitties, but she was talkin real soft an nice, an then she bent over an held out her hand. Then I wasn’t scared no more an I ran over to her. She said poor babycat what are you doin out in the cold an she petted my head. She was wearin a big fuzzy coat thing that went alla way to the ground, an she picked me up an put me inside of it. It was warm!
The human said what’s your name, poor baby, but I didn’t remember what the other humans called me so I didn’t say nothin. I just made purrdles. Then she said I thought you were one of The Steves! I didn’t know who Steves was, so I didn’t say nothin again, an she said you look like a minachur Steve, so how about we call you Stephanie? I didn’t care what she called me; I was just hopin she had food. Then she said we can’t put a babycat in with The Herd; they’re big kitties an might assadently hurt you. That was OK with me cause I didn’t want to get hurt.
The nice human started walkin towards a house. I was hopin she was gonna take me in with her, an she did! Well, kinda. She put me down in front of the door an said it’s warm in there, do you wanna go in? I could feel the warms comin out the door, so I ran in. I was too hungry an it was too cold outside to be scared. Then she said poor baby I bet you’re hungry. Let’s get you somethin to eat. That sounded real good to me so I followed her. Real close cause I wasn’t lettin another human ‘bandon me!
She said I ain’t got no babycat food but this will be OK for now. Then she put some in a bowl an gave it to me, an I ate it all real fast! I wanted more but she said that would make me sick so I had to wait. She gave me some water, then picked me up an said it’s real late an Mum gotta work tomorrow, so let’s make you a bathroom. She made the bathroom an I consatrated real hard so I’d remember where it was an not make no messes. Then she said it was time for bed.
She went in another room, an I stayed right by her feet so I wouldn’t lose her. She got onna bed an said you wanna sleep with Mum, babycat? An I did want, so I jumped up an walked over her to get to her head. She got long hair that goes all skwiggly, so I walked up on her pillow an stuck my cat hands in her hair. She laughed, an then I made biskits, an she liked that, too. She said your claws hurt, Stephanie, but she wasn’t mad. Since I wasn’t cold or scared or hungry no more, I got real sleepy, so I laid down across her neck, an she said you tickle, Stephanie. Go to sleep. An I made the biggest purrdles I could, an we did.
I assadently woke her up a few times cause I wanted to make biskits on her to show her I was happy I found her, but she speaks cat so she knew why an just said Stephanie go to sleep. Then when it was still dark, she said time to get up, baby girl, but at least it’s Fry-day. Let’s get you and The Herd some breakfast! I thought that was a real good idea! She opened some cans, an gave me a bowl, then made a buncha other bowls. They were for The Herd, but I didn’t know them yet. When Mum had to go to work, she put me in a room an shut the door. That was cause she didn’t have no kitties inna house then an had to make sure there wasn’t nothin dangerus. I was kinda bored, but I wasn’t hungry or cold an nothin was tryna eat me. An I was safe, plus there was soft places to sleep an no dinosours. So it was OK.
Me an Mum hadda get to know each other, so for a while, it was just me an her. Our house got big windows that goes alla way to the floor, so I could see outdoors, an there was kitties out there! A grey one, an two big stripe-y ones, an even two that looked like me! Mum said they was The Steves. I tried to say hi to them, but there was glass so they didn’t hear me. I made my cat hands go real fast onna glass, but they didn’t see me. I was kinda sad.
When Mum was at work, there was just me again, so I had to play by myself. Same like before, sometimes stuff fell over an broke, an I ripped some curtens when I was tryna get birbs outside. An I jumped onna blinds an broke one. An some stuff got ripped an I dug up some plants cause I was havin fun. Plus I always wanted Mum to play with me, but she said she had stuff to do.
I thought Mum would be mad about the broken stuff an maybe take me to the woods, but she just said oh Stephanie. An then one day she said you’re bored. You been here long enough to know it’s your home, so you need a cat friend! We’re gonna look at the shelter an find a kitty your age so you’re not all alone. She tried askin Miki the grey cat if she wanted to live inna house but Miki said no way. I didn’t know what a shelter was, but Mum said it’s a place for kitties that ain’t got no place to live. That made me sad. Every kitty gotta have a place to live.
Mum looked onna computer an saw a kitty named Juniper. Juniper’s pitchers were kinda bad cause she was scared an sad at the shelter, an she got somethin called RBF, but Mum said Juniper needed us. So her an her friend Stacy went to the shelter.
The shelter people said Juniper was hissy an scareda everything, but Mum said she didn’t care about that, an she gave the shelter people money to let Juniper come to our house. Mum didn’t like her name cause she says juniper trees smell like cat pee, so she called her Juni-Bean. Juni-Bean didn’t care, an after she got to our house, she wasn’t so scared an she didn’t hiss. I think she knew she was home like I did.
I tried to get Juni-Bean to rassle with me, but I was too rough. She didn’t like it, so she ran away. If I ran after her, she hissed at me an sometimes even swatted me. Not too hard, but I knew she was mad. Mum let her cause she said I hadda learn cat language an boundrys. I didn’t have nobody to teach me that when I was a little baby. After a while, I figured out that if I played nicer, she would play with me–I had a friend!
Juni-Bean wasn’t called that for too long cause Mum thought it was funny to say Beans. Beans didn’t care. She just wanted to be in a quiet place with no dogs. Beans is scared of dogs, an that’s perfect cause Mum is ‘lergic to them. After a while, I learned in cat language what is OK an what ain’t, an me an Beans got to be real friends. I know she loves me cause she washes my head an says mrrrt like Cat Mum did when I was a baby. Beans loves human Mum, too, cause she says mrrrt to her. I don’t say mrrrt to nobody, but I give Beans baths an I sleep on Mum. Beans got a lot to say.
Mum got us lotsa toys, an big cat trees, an lotsa soft beds, an a bathroom that cleans by itself, an a little catio, an a feeder that goes rrrrrr for my crunchies so they ain’t stale. Beans don’t like crunchies so she got a feeder for her wet food when Mum is at work. It’s cold an don’t get warm an get baktrias in it an make Beans sick. You can’t see baktrias cause they’re real small, but they’re there. Me an Beans eat together, but I mostly let her have alla wet food an I just eat a little.
Also there’s a guy called Jarvis that we can’t see. But he ain’t a baktria. He talks to us with speakers an he feeds us when Mum ain’t here, an tells Mum when our bathroom is cleaning. I don’t know how he works. I’m real happy with Mum an Beans, an I don’t break stuff no more cause I don’t gotta play by myself. There’s still rules like no Stephanies inna fridge an no Stephanies inna dryer, an no drinkin outta the toilet, but they ain’t too bad. I get bugs inna catio an give them to Mum, an she says what a good hunter you are.
I love Beans, an Mum, an Miki, an Andy, an Backpack, an Uncle Cookie, an Uncle Big Steve, an George, an Ant Ka’ra, an Ant Ka’ra’s dAde, an Grate Ant Livia, an Livia’s Dad. An Lahr-why even though he lives real far away. I didn’t useta have nobody, but now I got a famly an lotsa friends!
My name is Stephanie Marsupilami Babycat, an that is the story of me. –sTuffin 🐾